Scented Jasmines  Rusted Blade
by Jav-chan
Summary: He allows himself to steal these brief, precious moments of peace as he pulls her body close to his. Ken/Kao. One shot. Post canon.


**Scented Jasmines. Rusted Blades.**

_A Rurouni Kenshin Oneshot/Drabble Collection._

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><p><strong>1. Fear<strong>

_He allows himself to steal these brief, precious moments of peace as he pulls her body close to his. Ken/Kao. One shot. Post canon._

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><p><strong>I would call this my first dabble in this fandom but I actually have a work in progress posted on my LJ (click the bio homepage link!) and dozens of other pieces that I am working on.<strong>

**WARNING: Unedited.**

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><p>He is only with her right now because there is no one else. That is what Kenshin tells himself.<p>

Yahiko has finally moved out of the dojo, carving his own path as he trains himself towards what Kenshin suspects will eventually lead to the succession techniques of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryū. Megumi has rebuilt her family's medical practice in Aizu, and Sano is traveling the world. His last letter detailing his involvement with the local Triad in Hong Kong is cause for concern, but Kenshin knows that the man who held his own against Shishio's and Enishi's underlings will be fine.

Kenshin stays because he cannot bring himself to leave just yet.

He is not certain he even wants to leave just as he is not certain that Kaoru would survive his departure. So he stays and struggles to maintain the respectful distance with the woman who is cherishing in a way that is so much _more_than his marriage to Tomoe.

He sees the looks that Kaoru tries to keep hidden from him, the longing. He ignores them and hides behind the cheerful façade of the rurouni but each day those looks fracture his resolve just a little bit more. He is not certain how much longer he will be able to keep that distance from her.

Sometimes on nights like this, when she has become so absorbed with her teaching both for the Kamiya Kasshin Ryū and at the dojos on the other side of town that she neglects her own health despite his best efforts, he wonders if it is worth it.

Kenshin presses a damp cloth to her forehead and wipes away the sweat that gathers there. Her slender form is hidden, lost under the layers of blankets as he waits for her to sweat out the fever and chills make her tremble. It is nights like this that remind him that Kaoru has no one else and he doesn't dare to leave her side.

He brushes a sweaty strand of hair away from her face. If he concentrates on her misery then he can forget about the urge to slid next to her under the layers of blankets on her futon and wrap his arms around her waist as he pulls her close.

He wants to wrap himself around her, and bury his nose in the crook of her neck. Risk of catching the sickness be damned at the fevered warmth of her body would serve as a firm reminder that she is alive and unharmed.

Sometimes…

Gein's doll had been too realistic.

"Kenshin?"

The weak whisper has him freezing as it wrenches away from those dark memories. Kaoru's blue eyes are still glazed with her illness but she manages a weak, wobbly smile for him. Even though she looks so terribly frail, with her skin as pale as it is, he is captivated by her expression and cannot even manage to school his face into the proper rurouni mask.

"How are you feeling?" Inwardly he winces at how his voice suddenly cracks.

"You're still here." She ignores his question and a trembling hand sneaks out from beneath the blankets. Her relieved statement breaks something inside. Kenshin doesn't move. He can't even breathe as that trembling hand reaches up and cups his scarred cheek. She searches his expression and he wonders what she sees.

He shouldn't be doing this. He needs that distance just until…

Until what?

"What are you so afraid of?" The question is a whisper of sound. It is soft that the soft crackling of the candle flame nearly drowns it out, but he freezes as if she has shouted at him.

_What __am __I __afraid __of? _He reaches up and grasps Kaoru's hand in his own even as her eyes flutter shut and she slips back into that feverish sleep. Her hand goes limp but he refuses to relinquish it, watching her suddenly peaceful expression as he brushes his own calloused fingers against the tips of her own, the skin hardened by the kenjutsu she teaches.

He lowers the hand against his cheek, but he does not release it. He threads his fingers with hers as he rests her hand against the soft blankets.

A voice comes to his mind then, but it is not the cold edge of the Battousai, and it is only because it is _his_ voice that Kenshin knows that he has not slipped off the edge into insanity.

"_What __are __you __waiting __for?__Don__'__t __be __an __idiot! __You__can__'__t __expect __her __to __wait __forever __just __because __she __loves __you, __baka __deshi.__"_

He can imagine Hiko's voice just perfectly. In his mind the voice is an exact replica of the hard exasperation that his former master seems to reserve just for him. He can just as easily imagine Hiko saying something like that. In fact Kenshin is quite sure that the thirteenth master of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryū has said something similiar to him before.

He tightens his grip on Kaoru's hand and uses the other to brush aside an errant lock of hair.

That taunting voice is right, of course. He cannot expect her to continue to wait for him.

Kenshin spends the rest of the night at Kaoru's side, griping her hand tightly, as the candle continues to burn down. It is only when her forehead is beaded with more sweat and her expression contorts into one of pain that he releases her hand dab at her forehead with a damp cloth and to sit her up so that he can force feed her the powdered medication Genzai had provided him with. Not once does Kaoru wake.

He comes to a decision as he eases her back onto her futon. Kaoru deserves so much better than he has given her, and he needs to prove that he is worthy of her love. So tomorrow, once her fever has broken, he intends to take the first steps so that the next time she becomes ill he will be able to crawl into bed next to her and ignore the way she complains when he fuses over her the way he has always wanted to.

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><p><strong>So as the lovely Sumiregusa (read her stuff, it's awesome) pointed out the end of the jinchu arc is all about Kenshin getting closure. I agree and in those one shot Kenshin essentially has it but he just has issues taking that final step to starting an honest relationship with Kaoru. Don't expect a continuance to this. i actually quite like how it ended. Even if it was a bit too sappy.<strong>

**Also, the "Don't be an idiot" line? That was taken from Golden Girls. Lulz for Sophia. It's my addiction. It shouldn't be that shocking that it was created by the father of Joss Wheden.**


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